Forgiving the Unforgivable

Forgiving the Unforgivable

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As Christians, we are called to forgive those who trespass against us; if we do not forgive others, our Father will not forgive us our sins (Matthew 6:15, NIV). In the Amplified Bible Version, the scripture says, “For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses”. (Matthew 6: 14-15, AMP).

Matthew6_14-15Quite often, this is easier said than done. How can God ask a young lady to forgive someone who sexually abused or raped her as a child? How can God require someone who was physically, mentally, or emotionally abused forgive their perpetrator? How can God ask the mother who lost her child to a drunk driver forgive the person who caused the accident? Many times, I’ve read the quote, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies”; how true is this? Very. Unforgiveness, does nothing to the perpetrator, but can completely destroy the victim – robbing them of peace of mind, joy and happiness.

There was a time in my life when I was called to do just that – forgive the unforgivable. I had to forgive someone for inappropriately touching me when I was a child. For years, I carried around the shame, guilt and blame for what happened. As I got older and began to fully understand and then process what had happened to me, I was finally capable of maturely dealing with what I was feeling. The anger that I felt towards the perpetrator literally brought me to my knees asking God to give me the strength to forgive. I recall praying many nights before I could finally release this person and the resentment I was feeling. Once I forgave my perpetrator, I actually began to pray for him that God would move in his life, save him if he was lost and bless him and his family. sad woman_red top

Now, the very thing that I was once ashamed of, I boldly speak about so that I may encourage others who may have gone through the same thing. Oftentimes, we wonder why God allows certain things to happen in our lives. We must remember that our lives are His. He is the painter and we are the canvas. We may not know what He is doing, but we must trust that the Master has carefully orchestrated every brush stroke on the canvas of our lives. Not one stroke is a mistake – the good AND the bad is all for the glory of God – the finished canvas is a beautiful masterpiece. We are His handiwork – we are beautiful masterpieces.

Happy black womanWhat once was a horrible childhood event, God has taken, turned the tables and is using for good. My test has indeed become my testimony. What once may have been a mess has become my message; and I once was a victim, but now I’m victorious through Christ Jesus!


Terry Cato About Terry Cato

Terry Cato is a Talk Show Host, Author and relationship blogger. She is the Founder of Relationships 411, a blog community dedicated to healthy relationships and marriages. She is the Host of Real Talk w/Terry a Bay Area talk show focusing on relationship and lifestyle topics. Her memoir, “No Longer a Bridesmaid!” chronicles the 7 years she was single, celibate and believing God for a husband. Feel Free to Follow Terry on Twitter and visit her website for more information about the Author.


  1. My honor Cherie! God will always get the glory! What was meant for bad, God uses for good …

  2. Kristin Bunting Kristin Bunting says:

    Amen and amen. “No weapon that’s fashioned against you will stand.” Thank you for sharing such a tender part of yourself, Terry.

  3. I applaud your “forgive my trespasses as I forgive the trespasses of others.” God knew these words would be needed.”

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