I dearly love my children. They are all grown and have children of their own, some of whom are also adults now. I have always wanted to be a woman who had an open heart and listening ears, so that others are free to speak to me about their personal concerns. That especially applies to members of my family.

When my husband and I married many years ago, our wedding coincided with health problems in my parents. We decided that we didn’t want to burden my parents with any difficulties we had, because we didn’t want to add stress to Mom and Dad’s lives. Sometimes they didn’t understand some of our decisions because they didn’t know the background story, and that was all right. We talked about the happy times in our home, but when something negative came up, we kept it to ourselves.

Our children have problems from time to time, and they talk to us. We listen, but we can’t make their decisions for them. Sometimes they just need to talk and we want to be there for them. Maybe they made a wrong choice at some point in their lives, and they are suffering as a result. We can’t change the past, any more than we could stop them when they made the wrong choice in the first place. Most of the time we stand on the sidelines as a support system.

The most important thing we can do is pray for them. We do that on a daily basis, and sometimes through the night hours as well when we can’t sleep. God knows their needs far better than we do, and He alone is able to strengthen and support them in ways that even the most loving parents cannot.

I do have a problem of worrying about my kids, going over and over their situations in my mind and sometimes feeling ill because of the pressures that I put on myself. Lately I have been trying to relax and let them live their lives, make their decisions–right or wrong–and deal with the fallout or success, whatever it is. This is the decision I have made. It is a fine balance that we parents and grandparents walk, to be a support system, without crumpling under the stress of being supportive.

I can only pray that each one has trusted the Lord and has a right relationship with Him, regardless of circumstance.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” III John 4


Bettilu Davies About Bettilu Davies

Bettilu Davies is a wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. She has authored six published books, first writing fiction for children and teens and recently branching into adult Christian fiction. She has taught piano since 1968 and enjoys reading, crocheting, knitting, paper art, and painting in oils, acrylics and water color.

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