Avoid the “Why Me” Of Loss  by Jean Ann Williams

Avoid the “Why Me” Of Loss by Jean Ann Williams

Crater Lake, Oregon (1)

Most of us have experienced the loss of a loved one. Some have even suffered close losses such as children, a grandparent, parent, or sibling. We wonder “Why us?” Why does one family seem to go happily about life with those closest to them still here on earth, while others lose people they dearly love?

I don’t have the answer, but I’m one of those folks who’ve lost close relatives, beginning when I was twelve years old. And, the worse loss was twelve years ago when my son died by suicide when he was twenty-five.

Be sure, though, these losses have made me a stronger individual, for I’ve reached for God through the devastations. It doesn’t mean I was misery free, for my heart was breaking each time.

We must not, cannot play “why me”. I can’t stress this enough. This will only cause more sorrow, and it’s Satan’s game.

What has helped me the most is to read scriptures on loss. The story of Job in the Old Testament comes to mind first for he lost all of his children. Think about King David. Remember, he lost several children. What about Adam and Eve? To have a son kill their other son is so horrid one can hardly imagine their grief.

Another way I have experienced peace in the midst of grief is to remind myself, someone, somewhere else in the world was suffering more than me. I’d also think, “It could always be worse.”

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t grieve, because we must feel our losses. Feel them fully, but give yourself a rest by remembering others are hurting, also.

I came across this scripture from the book of Job recently, in 9:12 KJV, “Behold, he taketh away, who can hinder him? Who will say unto him, What doest thou?”

Who are we to question God? It doesn’t mean we won’t, though, but through our spiritual growth we should be able to know in our hearts, He is God and we are not.

Father, thank You for showing Yourself through my grieving and never forsaking me. In Jesus’ name, I’m grateful. Amen.



Jean Ann Williams About Jean Ann Williams

Jean Ann Williams lives in Southern Oregon with her husband Jim. Although one of their children has passed on to the Great Beyond, their two remaining children have blessed them with thirteen grandchildren, their Baker’s Dozen. Jean Ann keeps up two blogs: the first is about the writing life Jean Ann Williams: Author, and Love Truth where she writes of how God continues to encourage and bless her after her son’s suicide in 2004.


  1. Thank you, Cherie, for still having me here on Putting On The New!

  2. Janet K Brown says:

    Oh, boy, Jean Ann, that thought hits us in the gut. Thanks for the post.

  3. It hits me, also. I guess this is why I wrote it: to remind myself. :)) Thank you for stopping by and posting, Janet.

  4. Nice post, Jean Ann. I’m sure you find writing about your loss therapeutic. If you’re like me, it’s better than vocalizing. Prayers for you always.

  5. Thank you, Cynthia! I’m grateful I love to write. Thank you for your prayers.

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